Dubliners cheer firey destruction of Lillie's Bordello
-Citizens delighted, amused at club's demise.
-Charred heap of ashes not so trendy anymore.
-"Where will we strut and pose now?", sob distressed celebs.
The city's collective mood was considerably lifted this evening with the news that posh nightclub
Lillie's Bordello had burned to the ground. The fire, which broke out at 7.30 pm at the back of
the Judge Roy Bean's pub, quickly spread into the nightclub and, fed by the high latex content of
everything within, consumed the exclusive night-spot in a matter of minutes, much to the amusement of passing revellers.
"Oh good," said Sinead Darcy (24) of Harold's Cross, as she stood watching fireman hose down the
last smoking cinders of the ashen heap that was once Dublin's most pretentious nightspot.
"They've finally burned the place down."
For many years, Lillie's has been a popular haunt of celebrities, me-journalists, music industry
hacks and other wankers, who would congregate within, taking crap drugs and pretending to like
each other. Now many fear that they might have to spend their
time in places less suited to their needs. Outdoors, for instance, or with friends.
"Lillie's was a home from home," lamented Rhys Charmal-Dufois, founder and editor of "Totally!"
magazine ("The magazine for the, like, with-it crowd"), "especially as I rarely go home anymore
because nobody there likes me. I and my fellow taste-makers must quickly find somewhere else dark
and soft where we can snort our neuroses away, before our fragile egos implode through lack of
strutting".
The government has offered to put up the affected celebrities on a specially kitted-out 'flotel'
in Dublin bay, leaving open the option of pushing it further out to sea and waving happily as
the current bears it away.
Taken from 'The Evil Gerald' web site.
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